January 13, 2025
Postpartum Depression: Common Patterns and How to Break Them
Postpartum depression (PPD) doesn’t arise out of nowhere—it often follows a series of interconnected patterns. These patterns appear in how women think, feel, act, and connect with others. By understanding these patterns, moms can better recognize PPD and begin to take actionable steps toward healing.
In my work with moms, I’ve identified five key areas where patterns commonly show up: cognitive, emotional, behavioral, relational, and social. These patterns often reinforce one another, creating a cycle of PPD. However, by addressing even one of these patterns, it’s possible to start breaking the cycle.
Cognitive patterns refer to habitual ways of thinking that contribute to postpartum depression. Many moms experience:
These thought patterns often make moms feel like they’re failing, which fuels the emotional patterns of PPD.
Emotionally, PPD is marked by feelings of guilt, shame, and hopelessness. Moms may believe they are “not good enough” or that they’re failing their child. These emotions are often rooted in self-blame, like thinking they are at fault for their baby’s challenges. This combination of cognitive and emotional patterns creates a cycle that makes it difficult to believe things will improve.
Behavioral patterns are how we respond to our thoughts and emotions. Common responses in postpartum depression include:
These behaviors make it harder to prioritize self-care or ask for help, which can deepen the depression.
Relationships can either support or strain a mom experiencing PPD. Common relational challenges include:
These patterns leave many moms feeling unsupported and lonely, which exacerbates the cycle of postpartum depression.
Social patterns reflect fears of judgment and isolation. Many moms avoid seeking support because they worry about being labeled a “bad mom.” This avoidance leads to:
These social patterns increase feelings of loneliness, which reinforce the cognitive distortions at the root of postpartum depression.
The good news is that breaking even one of these patterns can begin to shift the cycle of postpartum depression. Start by:
For additional strategies on breaking these patterns, Michael Yapko’s Breaking the Patterns of Depression is an excellent resource. Explore his work to better understand the role of patterns in mental health.
Postpartum depression can feel like being stuck in a recipe you didn’t choose. But even changing one ingredient—one thought, one behavior—can shift the outcome. For example:
If you’re feeling stuck, explore more practical strategies in my previous blogs on postpartum wellness and recovery here.
By recognizing and disrupting these patterns, you ca n take the first step toward healing from postpartum depression. With the right tools and support, feeling better is not just possible—it’s achievable. For more actionable strategies, check out my free guide, Break the Cycle: 3 Simple Steps to Reclaim Control Over Your Mood, and explore additional insights from my blogs here. Break the Cycle: 3 Simple Steps to Reclaim Control Over Your Mood,” and take your first step toward breaking free from postpartum depression.
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