How to Find Joy in Motherhood (Despite Holiday Stress)
Holiday stress, a season that carries so much weight, doesn’t it? The pressure to make everything perfect, the traditions we feel obligated to continue, the overwhelming lists of gifts, gatherings, and expectations. For many of us—especially moms—it can feel like an endless sprint to create magic for everyone else.
But what if we paused? What if, instead of running ourselves ragged, we took a moment to reflect on what truly matters to us? What if we allowed ourselves to choose joy—not the fleeting joy of perfection, but the deep, quiet joy of living in alignment with what we value most?
Why Do the Holidays Feel So Heavy?
For some of us, the holidays bring excitement and connection. For others, they stir up feelings of anxiety, sadness, or even resentment. And for many, it’s a mixture of both.
Have you ever wondered why the season can feel so overwhelming? Maybe it’s the traditions we’ve inherited—family dinners, gift exchanges, or annual events that feel more like obligations than celebrations. Maybe it’s the expectations we place on ourselves to make everything just right for our children, partners, or loved ones.
Whatever it is for you, it’s worth asking:
How did I get here?
The Autopilot of Holiday Traditions
Have you ever found yourself halfway through December, wondering how you’re juggling so much? Maybe you’re hosting a holiday party, baking cookies for the kids’ school, or coordinating travel plans—and you’re not even sure if it’s what you want to do.
It’s easy to fall into “autopilot” mode during the holidays. We do things because they’re what we’ve always done or because we think we should. But when we don’t stop to reflect, we risk losing the joy in the process.
Holiday Stress for Moms Reflection: How Do We Find Ourselves Here?
Take a moment to ask yourself:
- Why am I doing this?
- Is this for me, or for someone else?
- Does this tradition bring me joy, or does it drain me?
- What would happen if I did it differently—or not at all?
Sometimes, we find that our choices are rooted in fear of disappointing others or trying to recreate an idealized version of the holidays. Other times, we discover that we’re overextending ourselves to compensate for something we felt was missing in our own childhoods.
There’s no judgment here—just an invitation to get curious about your own patterns.
Rediscovering Joy Through Choice – Reducing Holiday Stress for Moms
What if, instead of feeling swept up in the demands of the season, you took ownership of your choices?
For example:
- Instead of saying, “I have to host Christmas dinner,” try reframing it as, “I choose to host Christmas dinner because I love bringing people together.”
- Or, if you feel drained by a particular tradition, consider whether it’s one you want to continue. What would it look like to let it go or simplify it?
When we actively choose how we spend our time and energy, we create space for joy and identity—even in the busiest seasons.
A Personal Moment of Reflection of Holiday Stress for Moms
I remember one holiday season when I tried to do it all—the perfect gifts, the magical moments, the traditions I thought my kids needed. By the time Christmas morning came, I was exhausted and barely present. My anxiety was through the roof.
What stands out most from that day isn’t the gifts or the decorations—it’s the quiet moment when my kids sat on the floor playing with something simple, laughing together. I realized that the joy I was working so hard to create had been there all along, in the connection and the presence we shared.
The Joy of Letting Go, Reducing Holiday Stress for Moms
It’s tempting to believe that joy comes from getting everything just right—from the perfectly wrapped gifts to the Instagram-worthy holiday photos. But joy doesn’t live in perfection. It lives in the small, imperfect moments:
- The sound of your kids giggling as they play together.
- The warmth of a quiet evening with family.
- The simple pleasure of sharing a meal.
When we let go of perfection and focus on presence, we open ourselves to the joy that’s already there.
Practical Tips for a Joyful Holiday
Here are a few ways to reconnect with joy this season and reduce Holiday Stress for Moms
- Simplify Where You Can: Let go of the “extras” that don’t bring you joy. Focus on what matters most.
- Set Boundaries: It’s okay to say no to things that don’t align with your values or energy levels.
- Communicate Your Needs: Whether it’s asking for help with holiday prep or letting your family know you need a quiet evening, clear communication can make a world of difference.
- Be Present: Notice the little moments of joy—the ones that don’t require planning or perfection.
- Reflect and Adjust: At the end of the season, think about what worked and what didn’t. Use those insights to shape next year’s holiday.
Resources to Support Your Journey
If you’re feeling overwhelmed this season, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Here are some worthwhile resources to explore:
- Postpartum Support International: www.postpartum.net – Support for moms navigating postpartum anxiety and depression, offering groups, education, and connection.
- Brené Brown’s Podcast: Unlocking Us (link) – Insightful conversations on boundaries, joy, and connection.
- Recommended Reading: How to Do the Work by Dr. Nicole LePera – A guide to understanding patterns and reclaiming autonomy.
- Beyond the Blues: A Guide to Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression by Shoshana S. Bennett
- Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts: A Healing Guide to the Secret Fears of New Mothers by Karen Kleiman
- Life Will Never Be The Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide by Ann Dunnewold and Diane G. Sanford
The Gift of Joy
This holiday season, I invite you to slow down and reflect. What brings you joy? What traditions truly matter to you?
Remember, you have a choice. You can choose to simplify, to let go, to prioritize connection over perfection. And in doing so, you might just rediscover the joy that’s been waiting for you all along.
The joy you seek isn’t in the gifts, the decorations, or the perfectly orchestrated moments—it’s within you.
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