Your baby is crying. You’ve done everything you can think of—fed them, changed their diaper, rocked them—but nothing is working. Exhausted and overwhelmed, you feel that creeping wave of frustration: Why can’t I figure this out? Managing anxiety in motherhood is one of the most common challenges new moms face, especially in those early months when everything feels new, uncertain, and overwhelming.

Motherhood, especially in those early months, is both beautiful and intensely challenging. It can bring out doubts, anxieties, and reactions you didn’t even know you had. But what if managing anxiety in motherhood isn’t about changing your baby or your circumstances? What if it’s about redefining your mindset and becoming proactive instead of reactive? Today, we’re exploring three powerful strategies to help you regain a sense of calm, build confidence, and approach motherhood with clarity and compassion.

Strategy 1: Define What Calm Means to You

If your goal is to feel calm, you first need to define what that looks like—and just as importantly, what it doesn’t. Does calm mean that you’re okay even when your baby cries and you don’t have all the answers? Does it mean staying present and not getting overwhelmed when things don’t go as planned? Without clarity, managing anxiety in motherhood becomes an uphill battle. It’s like trying to drive somewhere without knowing the destination. So take a moment to ask yourself: What does calm look like for me in this season of motherhood? It’s equally important to recognize what calm isn’t. It’s not about controlling everything or getting it all perfect. It’s about finding steadiness inside yourself, even when things around you feel messy.

If defining calm feels difficult, consider listening to Lynn Lyons’ podcast, Flusterclux, where she discusses anxiety patterns and practical strategies to break them. Her approach to embracing discomfort and finding clarity can be a helpful resource.

Strategy 2: Be Aware of Your Mindset

Your mindset shapes how you experience the world. Whether you tell yourself you can or can’t handle something—you’re right. When your inner dialogue is negative, everything feels harder. A crying baby might trigger thoughts like: I’m failing as a mom. Why doesn’t anyone help me? I’ll never get this right. These narratives not only drain your confidence but also fuel resentment and anger—at yourself, your baby, or your partner.

Instead, try noticing the story you’re telling yourself in those moments. Then challenge it: Shift from “I can’t handle this” to “This is hard, but I can figure it out step by step.” Replace “Why doesn’t anyone help me?” with “What can I do to support myself right now?” By becoming aware of your mindset and reframing it, you’ll begin to open up possibilities instead of staying stuck in frustration.

For inspiration on mindset shifts, check out Mel Robbins’ 5-Second Rule, which offers simple strategies to break negative thinking patterns and take action.

Strategy 3: Realize It’s Not Them—It’s You

Here’s a hard truth: It’s not your baby’s fault they cry. It’s their only way to communicate. But when you’ve tried everything and they’re still crying, it’s easy to feel reactive—angry, resentful, or overwhelmed.

This is where reflection comes in. Your reaction isn’t about your baby; it’s about the story you’re telling yourself. That discomfort and frustration are revealing something about you: Are you being too hard on yourself? Are you struggling with uncertainty and trying to control what feels uncontrollable?

When you notice yourself getting reactive, pause. What happens if you don’t react? What if, instead of yelling or shutting down, you sit with the discomfort, reflect, and respond differently? You might discover you can handle more than you thought. You might connect with your baby or your partner in a deeper, more compassionate way. You might feel proud of how you showed up, even in a hard moment.

If you’re looking for additional support, consider the programs offered by the The Parks Center for Women’s Wellness and Medicine. They provide resources tailored to maternal health that may resonate with your journey.

1-Minute Action: Set Your Intention for the Day

In the morning, take one minute to ask yourself: What might feel challenging for me today? How do I want to respond instead of react? For example, if you know lack of sleep will make the day hard, decide ahead of time: “When I feel tension rise in my body, I’ll take a deep breath, step away if I can, and remind myself that I can handle this.” This doesn’t mean the day will be perfect or easy. It means you’re approaching it with intention and self-awareness. When those hard moments come, instead of reacting in anger or disconnecting, you’ll feel the discomfort, work through it, and move on—without guilt or shame.

The Power of Reflection

Motherhood is hard. But it’s also an opportunity to grow, reflect, and build resilience. By defining what calm means to you, becoming aware of your mindset, and reflecting on your reactions, you can start managing anxiety in motherhood in a way that feels empowering.

For more insights into navigating early motherhood, check out additional posts on my blog, like Confessions of a Mom: I Don’t Love Every Moment and How to Find Joy in Motherhood. These resources are designed to guide you through this transformative phase.

So, what’s one small step you’ll take today to move toward calm and confidence? Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear your thoughts.